Best Server Ever

Last week when John and I were in Wellsville for the ride, we ate dinner at this Italian joint and had one of my single most favorite dining experiences ever. Don't get me wrong, the food was not great at all. In fact, it was probably some of my least favorite food. Why did I enjoy it so much? Plain and simple, the server. He was the most intense and inquisitive server we've ever had. In order to protect him, I will not give his name or the name of the restaurant. Today, we'll call him "Andy".

When we got to the restaurant, Andy greeted us and asked if we had ever been there before. We replied that we had not, and he informed us that his goal would be to make sure that our experience was spectacular. As we looked at the menu, I was looking for something with a ton a carbs, so I could carbo load before the long ride the next day. Andy asked if we had any questions about the menu:

Me: Well, I'm actually looking for something with a lot of carbs, because I'm riding in the century tomorrow. What is the best thing on the menu if I'm carbo loading?

Andy: Well, we have an excellent prime rib.

Me: Um, that's kind of more down in the protein group.

Andy: Hmm. Do you like halibut?

Me: (a little confused) Yes....

Andy: Is fish a carb?

Me: Not so much.

Andy: Oh

Me: I'm thinking more like a pasta. Do you have any pasta dishes that are good?

Andy: Um, I guess.

Me: I'm thinking about the smoked salmon with penne pasta. Is that good here?

Andy: (shrugs) I guess.

Me: (not convinced) OK...I'll go with that...

Andy: (to John) For you sir?

John: I'm thinking of going with the spaghetti. Is it good?

Andy: Ehn (makes that "not so much" sound--you know the one)

John: What? Is the spaghetti not good here?

Andy: It's just spaghetti. It is what it is.

John: Does it suck here or something? Like do you make it bad?

Andy: Well, it's nothing special. It's certainly not going to tickle your taste buds.

John: OK, I'll have the chicken marsala.

Andy: Excellent choice. Any appetizers?

John: How's the calamari here?

Andy: Amazing! It's really, really good. I like it because it's so crispy and delicious and it comes with this great marinara sauce.

John: Is the sauce made with fresh tomatoes?

Andy: (pauses) Sure. Actually, I'm not sure. Although lots of things here are fresh, so it probably is fresh made with fresh tomatoes.

John: OK, let's try the calamari.

After a few minutes, Andy brings out the calamari.

Andy: Here's your calamari. By the way, that marinara sauce is totally from a can, but see if you can tell the difference.

John: I'm pretty sure I'll be able to.

So John tries a couple of pieces of calamari and it's gross. The marinara sauce is pretty much just straight canned tomatoes, with no flavor. He pushes it aside. After a few passes by Andy, he approaches the table.

Andy: (to John) Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice that you pushed your calamari away. Was it not good?

John: (trying to be nice) Well, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind.

Andy: What exactly did you not like about it?

John: Well, it's probably just a matter of personal preference, but it just wasn't exactly what I was hoping for.

Andy: Did you not like the sauce?

John: Not so much. It just needed a little more flavor.

Andy: I see. So, if you were to make this sauce, what would you do differently?

John: (a little surprised at the question) Well, I probably would have added some spices, like garlic and crushed red peppers.

Andy: So you would have changed the sauce?

John: Um, yeah.

Andy: I see, I see. So, as you ate the calamari, what exactly were your feelings?

Me: (water kind of comes out my nose from trying to suppress a laugh)

John: My feelings?

Andy: Yes.

At that point, I saw our friends coming in the restaurant, and hurriedly excused myself to go greet them. After about 5 minutes, we came back in the restaurant and John and Andy were still talking about how he felt while eating the calamari. Priceless. It was one of my favorite dining experiences in a while.